


Mai on Taang

by The Rambling Mai (Loopy)



Series: Mai's Ramblings [10]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, No Bashing, Parody, Zero Punctuation - Freeform, and making up what she doesn't know, and sometimes lying just for her amusement, just mai interpreting everything in the worst possible light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopy/pseuds/The%20Rambling%20Mai
Summary: Mai's secret thoughts on all the Avatar ships- and you know the funny is coming when the driest, most critical personality in the show decides to let it all out! Everything Avatar is analyzed and described in the most ridiculous way possible! A fandom classic!Today, Mai looks at one of the more vertically-challenged pairings of the Avatar world: TAANG!!
Relationships: Aang/Toph Beifong
Series: Mai's Ramblings [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989946
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	Mai on Taang

**Main on... Taang!**

"As common as it is on Avatar: The Last Airbender for relationships to form between wimpy men and tough awesome women, the idea is best showcased in the friendship MAYBE MORE between the Avatar Aang and Toph Bei Fong.

"Being an Avatar meant that Aang had to learn all four elements as part of his training to become the world's great unwanted supercop but that wasn't as easy a proposition as it sounded. He already knew Airbending when he came out of his iceberg because for some reason the old Air Nomads thought that teaching all of their kids how to sneeze with AN INTENT TO MAIM would make life more interesting OH YEAH LOTS OF FUN. He learned Waterbending from both Old Man Pakku and his illegitimate granddaughter Katara but the fact that the Avatar never progressed much beyond the Waterwhip indicates that neither one was that great of a teacher, but that doesn't surprise me as Pakku's Waterbender army was defeated by a single Firebender with a fish-obsession and Katara was much more interested in making out with her student anyway OR WAS SHE WAS TOO 'CONFUSED' BECAUSE I NEVER GOT THAT PART.

"Aang didn't seem to be having as much luck with Earthbending either because he first tried to make a teacher out of his four hundred year old friend Bumi but that fell through when the geezer got himself arrested on charges I'd rather not speculate on LIKE 'ROCK CANDY' TRAFFICKING and all the other Earthbenders in the Kingdom were either professional wrestlers or scam-artist dojo masters and not one of them OH NO NOT ONE was a competent Earthbending fighter who would be glad to help fight back against the Fire Nation.

"The sole exception was Toph Bei Fong who hadn't been turned into a Rock Candy addict yet as she had been locked up by her over-protective parents because she was tiny in stature and as blind as a badgermole THAT WAS FUNNY OH WAIT NO IT WASN'T and for some reason she never thought to just go ahead and tell them she was a master Earthbender. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway but it just seems really strange to me that she'd just let it go like that. I mean my parents weren't thrilled when I started throwing knives at things ESPECIALLY WITH A NEW BABY BROTHER AROUND and I had to go to Omashu with them but at least I gave them Sozin's Comet for it and stuck up for myself. ANYWAY WHAT WAS I SAYING OH YEAH so Toph's solution was to sneak out at night and fight in staged wrestling shows for prize money she didn't need and probably was just burying in her backyard anyway. How that made her feel better I have no idea but for some reason beating on a bunch of clowns with better skills in prat-falling than Earthbending made the little runt feel big and tough.

"Of course the Avatar had no idea those things are completely fake so when he saw Toph win he decided he had to have her as his teacher. He tried his mightiest to convince Toph to steal her parents' fortune and run away with him but she didn't want to probably because she was afraid of having to fight against some real warriors like Azula AND HER FRIENDS and did all she could to resist until her wrestling league kicked her out for taking bribes or whatever they call it there and she hopped on the Air Bison to avoid jail time or at least a lengthy civil suit.

"She was also harboring THE WAY I SEE IT a massive crush on the Avatar because she immediately began misbehaving in front of him for attention and fighting with the Water Tribe FemiNazi he was crushing on and even ran away once when he called her fat IS HE KIDDING SHE WEIGHS LESS THAN MY BABY BROTHER but she came back in time to save him from big scary Azula and as we all know that's practically a marriage proposal. After they formally made up OR NOT they got around to actually doing some Earthbending but even that was nearly ruined by all the romantic tension since her first instinct is to punch the boys she loves instead of doing nice human things like not throwing mud at them and kissing them and telling them to STOP STARING AT THE HORIZON AND THINKING ABOUT THEIR IDIOT FATHERS and she spent most of her lessons trying to hit the Avatar with a big rock. Things were rapidly heading for an epic session of making out so Katara got her brother to agree to distract Toph so that Aang could get on with his Save The World plot which ended up working out very nicely AS NICE AS SOKKA because Toph acquired a taste for older taller boys and was finally able to manage a working relationship with Aang. She remained in the group even after she completely outlived her usefulness because every lame team needs an even lamer mascot and she was good at doing tricks like turning metal doors into armor suits SHOW OFF.

"I miss the days when men were men and woman were dainty things that stayed home where it was safe. That's a lie."


End file.
